An important person from my past used to always tell me I had an elephant brain after the saying “An elephant never forgets.” I always remember the minute details of a plan, and the nice, and not so nice, things people do for me. In deeper research (on Wiki of course) I learned that elephants are a symbol of wisdom in Asian cultures and are known for their memory and intelligence. The more I think about it, the symbolism of my memory to an elephant is also symbolic to me living for myself.
I know one thing that has always kept me true to myself is never forgetting those who were there for me and those who weren’t. I think one thing I pride myself on is I not only read people well at first meet, but in the end, I keep the people that matter the most close. I focus a lot of time and energy on those who have shown, and continue to show true friendship. And, unfortunately, if someone has done something to hurt or betray me, I won’t forget. I’ll forgive, but I’ll never forget. Sadly, forgiving does not mean things will go back to normal in a relationship. If someone has done something that directly affects you and doesn’t stay in line with your morals OR your personal happiness, that person could in a way be toxic to you and your goals for your life, and you are probably better off without them. Life is short. Why waste it with people who make your heart race in a bad way?
Keep in mind, I understand that everyone battles their own personal struggles in different ways, some privately and some not so privately, some in a healthy manor and some in a way that hurts those around them. However, if it is consistently affecting you, try stepping away from the relationship for awhile, and if you see the person finally getting his or her life together, or acting in line with your personal values, maybe that’s when you make the decision whether or not they are appropriate to include back in your life. Some people don’t realize how bad off they are reflecting on others because no one steps in and tells them. If someone has already stepped in and told the person, then it’s that person’s responsibility to work to be a better person for his/her surrounding relationships.
It’s your life. Shape it the way you want it, with the PEOPLE you want to be with.
I found this elephant necklace at J. Crew the other day and I just had to have it. It means so much to me in so many ways, and to me is a reflection of who I am and who I will continue to be as I live my life for myself, with the people who make me a better person. Do you have a piece of jewelry or something that guides you daily? Have you taken the steps as an adult to slowly focus more on the important relationships and walk away from the bad?